Recently I bought a plaid button down linen shirt (on left).  Since I have a bit of a weight on me, those cool stripes can accentuate if not downright illuminate every arcing contour of my belly.  (That's not me but an unreasonable facsimile.)

Still, must I go through the remainder of my days hiding behind dark colors?  In sunny California, no less?  There must be some way I can get away with a little striping action -- no?

So I thank you, Jonah Hill (on right), for giving the likes of me some cover from the fashion police.  You're destroying that vibrant plaid.  You free men like us to showcase our bonus girths in fabrics initially intended for curtains or tablecloths.

Life is good.

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